Not Your Average Belle

All's Well that Ends Well

2008-12-18T15:36:00.003-05:00

Things are back to "normal" in the not so average household. Well, my cat, Kiki, isn't normal, but she wasn't to start with.

I took a combination of everyone's advice from the last drama post and sat the fiance down and we had a reasonable discussion . . . for about 3 minutes and then I blew up and yelled at him for 45 minutes. So I have a bed temper - sue me.

I did explain to him that I was very hurt by the fact that he and his mother were acting so ungratefully.

I mentioned that my parents are by no means rolling in dough and that they are really stretching themselves to make this a very nice wedding for us.

I told him that I did not appreciate his siding with his mother and that he was only validating her immature behavior by doing so. I made him understand that I expect him to have my back from now on.

I explained that I was using part of my inheritance to help make this a wonderful wedding.

I said that we could get a bigger reception site so that more guests could be invited and told him that his family would need to pay the difference. (I think his dad has "wallet-telepathy" and could sense that we were talking about him spending money and that caused his butthole to pucker all the way over in South Carolina.)

I mentioned that I would be just as happy to go somewhere and get married without tons of family and friends around.

I told him that I would love to have him more involved in planning and that I had not asked for help with a lot of this stuff because I thought I was doing him a favor by not dragging him along to cake tastings and photographer interviews.

I explained that the bottom line is that it's our day and that we need to do what will make it the best for US and not worry about what anyone else has to say.

Then I told him that if continued to fail to see things my way, he could sleep in the guest room until he came around.

He apologized to me the next day, he called his mother (who later sent an email to my mother and me to apologize for her behavior) to get her to be reasonable, he called my mom to thank her for her generosity and help with the wedding. and he offered to help with planning and paying from now on.

It's pretty impressive what the threat of no Hippity-Dippity can make a man do.

(Note: The author of this blog does not condone or authorize the use of sex as a weapon. 'Cause that would be immoral and the author is neeeeeever immoral.)

The one where I do not rant.

2008-12-17T12:46:00.005-05:00

I thought it would be nice to post something upbeat today to make up for the extreme bitchiness of yesterday's post.

A little who ago, I posted about my family's doggy drama. Our sweet pet was suddenly struck ill in the middle of the night one night. My parents rushed him to the emergency vet who wasn't able to find any problems.

My parents returned to the vet the next day because the dog was still obviously in pain and wouldn't lie down and couldn't move without whimpering. The vet decided to do a full-body x-ray, but still couldn't find any problems. He ran blood tests and still could not figure out what was causing the dog to be in such pain. The vet decided that it would be best to keep our dog over night for observation so they could make sure they weren't missing something. In order for the poor little guy to be able to sleep, he had to be sedated because he couldn't lie down without crying out.

Each update from the vet threw us further into panic. My mom, sister, and I all cried on the phone because we were worried about our dog. Each time my phone rang, I was sure it was mom calling to let me know some awful diagnosis.

The vet called my mom the morning after the dog's night in the kennel and told her that she could go pick him up and that he would explain the problem when she got to his office. Of course, this made us even more upset! The news must have been so bad that the vet couldn't even tell her the problem over the phone!

Mom arrived at the vet's office to find her goofy, bouncy dog had returned to normal, which really threw her for a loop. The vet explained to her that one of the nurses had arrived in the morning and went it to wake up the dog. The nurse said that he stood up, looked up and her and smiled (see picture above), and then went "ppppfffffffftttttt." After that he barked, wagged his tail, and continued smiling as though he was very proud of himself.

Turns out? The dog had gas.

Only in my family . . .

More Wedding Drama

2008-12-16T13:34:00.005-05:00

Ok, no one warned me that planning a wedding would be this miserable. I thought this was supposed to be a happy and joyous time, not a time for contention and crying and fighting. Argh!!

The Fiance and I are getting married in the small town where my parents live. We are having our reception at a place that I do not like, but it is the only place in town that we can afford. The place is fairly small, so we cannot let our guest list get out of control. This has been explained to the fiance's parents numerous times. In fact, when the Guilt Tripper first saw the reception site, she complained about how small it is, so she of all people should realize that we cannot invite everyone we know. My mom has explained to her several times that she is only able to invite 3 of her friends and their husbands because she knows there is not room for everyone else.

On Sunday night, things just all went right down the shitter. My mom has asked that we limit our list of invitees to 250 people, which I think is incredibly reasonable. But then again, I didn't even want to have a big deal - I just wanted to go somewhere and get married with just the two of us there. That idea was nixed because the Guilt Tripper freaked out at the idea of not being able to have a bunch of family and friends around. We told the Guilt Tripper a month ago that she would be able to invite 10 couples of her friends (HER friends - not people we know or care about), which is completely reasonable because my parents are only inviting 3 couples of their friends. She has spent a month just sitting on this and not doing anything. We told her on Sunday night that we had to finalize the guest list so we could order invitations and the woman LOST IT. She called my mom CRYING and wailed to her for an hour about how she has so many people that she wants to invite and now she can't and she doesn't know what to do. Her husband is out of town and I think part of the problem here is that she wants attention and crying is her (extremely immature) way of getting it. She actually said to my mom at one point, "I just didn't think I was going to have to go through this without [Mr. Grumpy Pants] here." Uh, go through what? This is a wedding guest list, not some horrible family tradgedy. My mom finally just told her that she was sorry to "be the bad guy" but that some limits have to be put in place.

The Guilt Tripper called the fiance last night and I eavesdropped on their conversation. Several times, I overheard him saying that he wasn't happy with this either, but that they just needed to make do. UGH! Give me a break! We are being obscenely generous here.

As it turns out, the fiance and the guilt tripper are both being swayed by the older brother, who openly stated that my family is being unreasonable. He said that when "people look back on the wedding in 15 years, no one is going to remember if the place was a little crowded" and because of that, he thinks they should be able to invite whoever they want. Sorry bud, but I'm pretty sure people are going to remember if there is not room to move around or dance!

This is just so effing ridiculous! No one should have to be made to feel like "the bad guy." The way I see it, my parents are paying a ton of money to have a party for our families and friends. The least the fiance and his family can do is show some damned gratitude.

I got an award!

2008-12-15T10:32:00.003-05:00

Woohoo! The Muse gave me a blog award! How exciting! I rarely receive rewards or accolades (perhaps because I don't do many noteworthy things, but that's another issue), so this is very fun for me!

Thanks Muse!!

I'll pass this on to Missouri Musings, because she's sarcastic (just like me) and her blog makes me laugh on a daily basis.

How RUDE!

2008-12-11T10:44:00.003-05:00

The Fiance and I had to head up to Buckhead this past weekend to pick out tuxedos for the wedding. And let me tell you, that was a BLAST! I absolutely hate shopping and I hate crowds and I hate cheesy Christmas music, so mall shopping in December makes me want to jab myself in the eyes with a dull pencil.

Before the shopping, we decided to have lunch and I decided to have a couple of drinks to prepare myself (read: numb myself a little so that I did not resort to physical violence) to go into the mall. I love food and try not to go to the same restaurant twice and I had never been to Houston's, so we decided to give that a shot.

I quickly learned that Houston's in Buckhead is a place for people who are "new money" to go to show other "new money" types that they have money. It is not classy or elegant. It is pretentious and way overpriced ($16 for a club sandwich). And? There are waaaay too many kids. I did not know what I now know, or else we would not have gone to eat there. Lesson learned.

So we pulled in to the parking lot and drove up to the valet stand. And waited. And waited some more. And finally a guy comes up and does not open my door for me! First rule of valet: ALWAYS open the woman's door first. Oh well, no big deal. So we go inside and there is a short wait for a table. I head up to the bar and order a beer. I get a nice, frosty glass with no coaster or cocktail napkin. The foam is spilling over the top and I have nothing to do but let it drip all over the place as I am trying to drink. I get over that because I start laughing at a woman who is waaay too old to have platinum blond hair and is wearing a full-length fur coat at noon, when it is not even that cold outside. After a couple of minutes, a hostess comes to get us and directs us to "stand against" a brick wall while we wait for a table. What? Are we in kindergarten? Ridiculous. Eventually we get a table and get through our barely mediocre and incredibly oily lunch without any other incidents.

We go outside to reclaim the car from the valet and proceed to wait again. And then we wait some more. And finally someone comes and gets our claim ticket. And then we wait some more. Seriously? So we've been out there for a while and one of the valet guys comes over and asks the crowd of people standing around if any of us had been waiting for a while. I said that we had been waiting for a long time and this little punk replies, "Uh, well, how long do you think a 'long' time is?" (He even did the air quotes with his fingers!!!) I told him that we had been waiting for around ten minutes (which, by the way, is not an acceptable length of time to wait for a valet to get your car) and he became indignant and said, "Well, you know we do have to park the cars that are waiting AND return cars, so it might take us a while." After the little jerk walked away, everyone in the group waiting for cars began to laugh and we all agreed that guy was not going to be getting any tips.

First of all - if you don't want to know the answer to a question, don't ask that question. Second - don't be rude to people who are about to give you money. Third - I'm pretty sure I know how valet parking works. I have not lived in a cave for the past 24 years.

When the guy brought around our car (FINALLY), The Fiance asked him, "What do you think a 'good' tip is?" After the little pompous ass's reply, The Fiance informed him that perhaps he shouldn't be rude to paying customers if he expected to make any money. I just laughed and closed my door (MYSELF) and we drove off, vowing never to return to Houston's.

Sick Puppy!

2008-12-10T16:33:00.003-05:00

My parents' dog is sick! I'm so sad! I spoke to my mom this morning and she said they could tell something was wrong with him last night because he wasn't hanging around with her in the kitchen. He normally stays in there because that's where the food is and he's incredibly spoiled, so he gets a treat each time the fridge is opened. Mom started looking for him and realized he was downstairs in the basement, so she called him and he started to come up the stairs and just stopped. He gingerly sat down and whimpered a couple of times. He had just been outside, so she knew he didn't need to use the bathroom. So my stepdad came out and tried to coax the dog upstairs and he wouldn't come and just kept whimpering. They packed him up and took him to the emergency vet who said it wasn't anything terrible and that they should bring him back in the morning. Mom took him back this morning and said he wouldn't sit or lie down and just yelped each time he tried to do so. He has been at the vet all day and we still don't have an update. I'm going up this weekend to visit, so I hope he's back to normal by then.

Isn't he cute? Last time I posted a picture, some people asked what kind of dog he is - he's a goldendoodle - half golden retriever, half poodle. My parents were thinking of getting a goldendoodle for a while and they found a rescue organization in Charlotte, NC that has a "wishlist" type program. You can tell them what kind of dog or cat you would be willing to adopt and if they have one or if one is brought to their shelter, they contact you so you can get your pet. : ) So that's where my cute buddy up there came from.

Deep Breath

2008-12-09T16:57:00.003-05:00

You know how sometimes you have sooo much stuff to do that you don't even know where to start?

Yeah, I'm there right now.

Ick.

However, please check out Mrs. Newlywed's blog for a hilarious tale of In-Law ugliness.

A Couple of Things

2008-12-08T13:43:00.003-05:00

I got a nice suggestion for a solution to my boots dilemma from Missouri Musings - apparently J. Crew has extended calf sizes for their boots. This makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time . . . cause it's like they're saying, "Hey, your legs are kinda big and the nicest thing we can call them is 'extended.' Because if we called them cankle boots, you wouldn't spend your Christmas bonus to buy them." Oh well, at least J. Crew is looking out for those of us who are a little on the "sturdy" side.

I sent an email to all of my bridesmaids this morning with pictures of my wedding dress. My sister (who is my maid of dishonor - because a maid of honor doesn't really fit in my family) decided to so kindly reply all with this little gem:

"wait.. youre getting a WHITE wedding dress?"

Isn't she a DOLL??

This is bad for two reasons: 1) It's not really white (insert defeated look here) and 2) I already had an embarrassing conversation with my mother (and her best friend and my florist and the florist's assistant) about why I am not wearing a white dress.

Sigh.

Is it ok . . .

2008-12-05T18:52:00.004-05:00

. . . to think that Mr. Grumpy Pants (aka The Fiance's father) is a moron, for many reasons, but mostly because he refuses to get a computer because:

He thinks "someone will come through the computer" and steal his identity.

Yup, this is what I get to deal with.

We're Going Bowling!

2008-12-04T16:51:00.005-05:00

But not the kind where you wear ugly shoes and throw a way-too-heavy ball at pins that are way too far away. (Can you tell that I suck at bowling?) Speaking of that, who in the heck decided that the attire of choice for serious bowlers had to be so fugly? I mean, I'm pretty sure you can heave that ball at those pins without looking like you just stepped out of a 1950's era sockhop after getting dressed in the dark. And? The bowling shirts? Please tell me that is not the best you people could do.

Anywho . . .

My Clemson Tigers are going to the Gator Bowl! That's right, after starting the season with a #9 ranking and then taking the worst nosedive in NCAA football history, firing our coach mid-season, and completely destroying the confidence of our players (Yay, Clemson!), we finished strong enough to get a bid to a pretty big deal bowl!! I guess our new head coach, Dabo Swinney, got the football gods riled up enough to invite the Tigers to Jacksonville.

Speaking of Dabo, I heard several people chanting "Yabba Dabbo Do" after our last home home. Are you kidding me?!?! That is without a doubt the single most idiotic catch phrase I have ever heard. They're making t-shirts with that on them! If I hear you saying that, I WILL cut you. If I see you wearing that shirt, I WILL "spill" my beer on you. Just say no, friends. Just say no.

Back to the bowl game - I'm super excited! This will be the biggest bowl game I have ever been to! Some of The Fiance's fraternity brothers are going to join us, so I'm sure there will be plenty of drunken shenanigans, uh, I mean, interesting adventures to share once we return.

Anyone know of fun stuff to do in Jacksonville?

(And by "fun stuff to do," I mean, "cool bars to hang out in.")

Thanks MOM.

2008-12-03T14:46:00.003-05:00

First of all, thanks for the advice about the bridesmaidzilla situation! I'll post an update on here soon.

Second, I love my mom. She is so cool and incredibly smart and I think she's the most interesting person I know. Mom grew up all over the world and speaks 5 languages. She is comfortable in any situation and is always ready to have fun and never runs out of interesting stories.

All that being said, my mom does have one bad trait - she has cankles. You know who inherited the cankles? I inhertited the cankles. Awesome. As if I don't have enough body issues to deal with . . .

I have also inherited big calf muscles from my mom. Large calves and fat, unshapely ankles are not an attractive combination. My leg goes from knee to ankle in a straight line that gradually narrows as it goes down. I don't wear shorts or skirts, which makes summer time in Atlanta pretty miserable. When I go to the gym, I purposely avoid any machine that might somehow manage to make my already sizeable calves any larger.

This issue with my lower legs has caused a problem with my Christmas list. You see, I have been dying for a pair of nice, knee-high boots for a very long time. I finally found a pair I loved at Banana Republic and they had them in my size. It was almost a miracle! So I tried them on, and guess what happened - sausage leg. That's right, the effin' boots squeezed my big ol' dumb calves and created a muffin top effect right on my legs. And you know what? That is not an attractive look.

I did not get the boots.

However, as an amazing coincidence, I discovered this morning that some people are not concerned with sausage leg or muffin top calves! I was leaving my complex and saw a woman walking out to her car and lo and behold! She was wearing a lovely bright purple wrap dress (complete with faux fur trim) and purple suede knee boots. Girlfriend managed to completely overlook the fact that those purple suede boots were squeezing her legs so tight that her feet were no longer getting any blood and that her calves were squished by the boots SO MUCH that her lower knee cellulite was clearly visible.

In the immortal words of the Mensa candidate, Paris Hilton, "That's hot."

At a Loss

2008-12-02T14:09:00.003-05:00

I am at a complete loss as to what to do about a situation that has come up with one of my bridesmaids. Seriously, no clue whatsoever and I am about at the end of my rope.

I finally picked out a dress and emailed all of my girls to let them know to get dresses ASAP because they were on sale and are going out of stock. Everyone got their dresses that same day, with the exception of this one girl. So I sent her a note on Facebook and she replied and asked me to send the email again. I immediately resent the email (on Nov. 22). She still hasn't replied to my email and I have sent her two more messages on Facebook.

I started getting anxious and sent her another email on Sunday night (8 days after the original!!!!) to let her know that the dresses had run out in sizes 0 through 6, so she needed to get hers ordered. I even offered to get the dress for her myself - I just asked her to simply let me know what needed to be done.

(Keep in mind that this is the same bridesmaid who still has not reserved her room at the B&B where our wedding party is staying. That issue is not as pressing because we have the whole place reserved, but it's still frustrating when you're trying to herd 20 people to get them to do something and one person doesn't seem to want to follow the herd. I have just given up on that issue, because if she doesn't want to stay at the fun place with everyone else, then she can go you-know-what herself.)

I have also called her 3 times and left messages. She called me back once, but it was on Sunday night at 11:00 and I was already asleep. She left me a message and just asked me to call her back - she didn't say anything about ordering the dress or needing me to get it for her. I'm starting to wonder wtf is going on here.

She and I aren't as close as we used to be and only talk every other month or so, but she was one of my closest friends for ages. I really have no idea what to do here. Her family is basically my second family and had an engagement party for me in August, so I don't want to appear ungrateful by asking this girl to drop out of my wedding party. But I really don't want to deal with chasing someone down and getting my very polite and reasonable requests completely ignored.

I am thinking of sending her an email (since she won't answer her effing phone) and kind of gently offering to have her drop out of the wedding party. I have no clue how to do this politely or without hurting feelings. Keep in mind that I am a total doormat when it comes to this kind of stuff . . .

Why has dealing with bridesmaid stuff been the most difficult part of wedding planning so far? I'm supposed to be a bridezilla, I'm not supposed to have bridesmaidzillas. Grr.

The Weirdest Thing Happened . . .

2008-12-01T10:49:00.003-05:00

Back to reality! I had a great Thanksgiving! It was so nice to spend time with my family and have a break from work for a few days. But, the most random thing happened to us over the break . . .

The Fiance and I were driving on the interstate in South Carolina to get to my parents' place on Thaksgiving day and we drove past a field lined with trees. All of a sudden, two giant turkeys flew out of the trees and headed straight for the car! I didn't even have time to process what was happening, or else I would have screamed and covered my eyes. Instead, I just went, "Ooohhhhh . . . " The first turkey flew right over the hood of the car and missed hitting us by just a few inches. The second turkey . . . well, he wasn't so lucky. The thing flew smack into the side of the car!!!! It hit right above the wheel well on the passenger side and made a huge THUD. I turned around to see if it was ok and all I could see was a big cloud of feathers and then the turkey flopping to the ground on the side of the road. He was definitely not ok. Poor little guy.

The Fiance and I just kind of rode along in a stunned silence for a second and then started laughing about the irony of hitting a wild turkey on Thanksgiving day. We called my mom and asked if she had enough food for everyone and told her that if she didn't, we could bring up the turkey we hit. Everyone laughed and joked about it. Then we called The Fiance's parents, and in true Debbie Downer fashion, they started freaking out about damage to the car and such. Then it hit us, a 20-25 pound turkey flew into us while we were doing 80 on the interstate - there was probably going to be a little bit of damage to the car. Crap.

We stopped for gas a little bit later and checked the car - there is a sizeable dent on the side panel, some paint is chipped around the dent, and the antenna is gone. There are also feathers stuck to the side of the windshield (kind of funny, in a bad way), but I'm sure those can be wiped off.

The Fiance was upset for a little while, but calmed down once he realized that he's got a pretty good story to tell now. Just about everyone thinks it's pretty funny and ironic that we hit a wild turkey on a busy interstate on Thanksgiving day. And we have something extra to be thankful for - we didn't get in a wreck or have something much worse happen to us and we've got an entertaining story to tell. At least we didn't hit a reindeer on Christmas!

Hectic Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T09:46:00.005-05:00

Does anyone else travel a lot to see family members for Thanksgiving? The Fiance and I will be hauling ourselves all over 3 states to see family and to go to an EXTREMELY important football game in Clemson, SC (GO TIGERS!!!!!!).

The Fiance's parents live in SC, so we're heading out tomorrow afternoon (after my personal training session - yippee!!) and driving 2.5 hours to get to his parents' house. We are going to stay there on Wednesday night and then eat with them on Thursday and then leave to head to my parents' (mom and stepdad) place in Western NC. The Fiance's younger brother and his wife won't be with us in SC, which is sad because the wife normally helps me defend myself against the future in-laws - mostly because she can't stand them either. Looks like I'll be fending them off single handedly this year.

So after eating a Thanksgiving lunch, we're going to pack it up and drive 3 hours to NC and then have another meal! My step-dad's family will all be with us this year. It's the first Thanksgiving without my step-grandfather, who passed away this summer, so it will probably be a little sad. On Friday we'll do some hiking and will eat plenty of leftovers! One of the best parts of going to my parents's house is seeing their dog - he is the cutest, goofiest thing ever. Just look at him!

Then on Saturday, we're getting up at dark thirty and driving 1.5 hours down to Clemson! Woooooo! The Fiance and I both went to Clemson (in fact, we met there) and we're still huge fans. Saturday will pretty much be our biggest game of the year - we're playing our rivals and we HAVE to win the game in order to make it to a bowl game.

I can't wait!!!

Finally!

2008-11-21T13:19:00.003-05:00

I have finally picked out a dress for my bridesmaids! Wooooo!

I originally wanted something in a pretty, light green shade. Like this, except not ugly. I needed something not too bridemaidy and not too expensive. Some of my girls are from small towns and don't even spend $200 a month in rent, so I didn't want to ask them to spend more than that on a dress that they would only wear once.

Lots of married friends have asked me what kind of dresses I was going to get. A lot of the time, I wanted to tell them I was looking for the opposite of the montrosities they picked out for their bridesmaids. I didn't really say that, but it probably would have been a whole lot cooler if I did. But honestly? I know someone who made her bridesmaids wear dresses that were poofy and irridescent - they changed from pink to orange to purple when the bridesmaid moved. Barf.

I also have a bridemaid who just got pregnant and will be 7 months along at the wedding. (Side note: Hey sweetie, don't worry about all the times you promised me you and hubby would wait until after my wedding. I know, it's a big hassle to keep up with taking your birth control. And you have been married for 8 months now, so I'm sure you're completely ready to have kids.) If I sound bitter about this, it's because I am. I am realllllly happy for her and her husband. But all I'm saying is that if you PROMISE someone multiple times that you're not going to do something, then you shouldn't go ahead and do that something anyway. So I thought about looking for dresses that came in maternity sizes and said, "Eff that, I'm not making 6 girls suffer in ugly dresses because of one pregnant lady."

So after months of searching (seriously, months! picking out blasted bridesmaid dresses has been the most difficult and most stressful part of wedding planning thus far), I finally gave up on finding THE perfect bridesmaid dress in THE exact shade of green I wanted. Instead? I picked out a nice dark blue dress from J. Crew. I know, it's way off from what I originally wanted, but it will still look nice with any light green accents that we have.

And, if anyone complains about it, I will just tell them that I could do what what someone I know did: Girl got married in the fall and her mom made bridesmaids dresses for her girls out of crushed velvet. The dresses had mock turtlenecks, long sleeves, and went all the way to the floor. One girl got burnt orange, one girl got red, one girl got brown, and one girl got purple. They seriously looked like the woman just cut head holes in sheets of the ugliest fabric she could find. Mean, right? I'm definitely not that mean. Or blind.

Anywho, here's the dress:

Can there be too much candy?

2008-11-20T12:29:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling a bit better today and actually came in to the office. I still wish I could be at home in bed, but such is life. One good thing about coming back to work: all of my candy is at my desk. You see, I have the world's biggest sweet tooth. I literally cannot go a day without having some sort of candy. Perhaps if I could put the reins on this little problem, I wouldn't need to spend as much time at the gym. That's an idea for another day . . .

My candy obession has become a joke in my office. My boss will threaten to reward me with jellybeans instead of raises. And, actually, that'd be just fine with me. Seriously. Last Friday was my two year anniversary of working at this company, so my boss got me a little present.

He came into our staff meeting and dumped out a box of candy in front me. That box contained a 2.5 pound bag of jelly bellys, 3 bags of laffy taffy, a jumbo bag of tootsie roll pops, a bag of sour patch watermelons, and 6 bags of sour patch xploderz (which, by the way, are the best candy I've tasted in recent memory). I couldn't stop shaking with excitement. I think getting all of that candy was more exciting to me than getting a new car.

When I left work on Friday, I took my candy with me. The thought of being without all that candy all weekend was unbearable. And then I brought it all back to work with me on Monday so I could snack throughout the day. Everyone was making fun of me for toting my candy around with me, so I decided not to take it home on Monday night.

And then what happens? I get sick and can't go to work! I was pretty upset that for two whole days I didn't have any jelly beans or gummy candy to eat. I'm happy to be back so I can be reunited with all of this junk food! Woooo.

I know, I'm special.

P.S. The Fiance just sent me a text that says, "The ACC tournament is in Atlanta." Uhh, ACC tournament for what? Gymnastics? I think that if I ask him, he'll make fun of me for not knowing, so I'll just play along and ask if we can go. That'll work, right?

Feeling Icky

2008-11-18T16:57:00.004-05:00

I woke up this morning and felt like I was smuggling a golf ball in the back of my throat. Ouch. I have spent almost all day in bed and still don't feel great.

I think my cat can sense when I don't feel good. She doesn't freak out all the time and actually curls up with me in bed. Or at least she did for a while today, until I accidentally kicked her in the face.

The Fiance informed me that I was snoring so loudly last night that he was contemplating going to the guest room to sleep. He decided not to because I sounded so terrible and my breathing was so labored that he was legitimately concerned about me. He's bringing home some breathe-right strips for me to use tonight. Not the juice or soup or yogurt I asked for, mind you. Just the breathe-right strips.

Blargh.

How to Ask for a Favor

2008-11-13T10:08:00.004-05:00

In this post, you will learn why I refer to my future mother-in-law as "The Guilt Tripper." This is the same future mother-in-law who once told her son that I am not good enough for him and that he should break up with me. So, yeah, we get along reaaaaaaally well.

The Fiance's car has a bluetooth thingy (that IS the technical term) that allows his phone calls to be played through his car speakers. So he talks and the person can hear him and the person talks and it comes through the speakers, and anyone riding in the car can hear the whole conversation. It's a very convenient tool for someone as nosy as I am.

We're riding home from dinner last night and The Guilt Tripper calls, which is amazing in itself, because she normally calls RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER, even though we eat at the same time every single night and tell her every time she calls that we're eating dinner. Grrr. So she's blabbing on about a trip she's taking and says she's flying back in to Atlanta. And then she says, "I need to know what time is best for you to come pick me up on Sunday so I can book my return flight." And I think, "Huh, that's a new way to ask someone to go out of their way to do something nice for you." The Fiance explains that he plays soccer in a league and their games are on Sunday afternoons, so it will be difficult for him to go to the airport and make a pick up. And then this happens: She says, "Well, I guess if your soccer is more important to you than I am, I can just sit alone at the airport until you're not too busy to come get me." Not. even. kidding. I am stunned. He explains to her (in the same way you would explain something to an impetulant 5 year old) that he has an obligation to his soccer team and could pick her up before the game if she can find a flight. Her next request? Since she will be driving to ATL to fly out, she will be leaving her car at her house, so she thought it would be appropriate to inform The Fiance that he and I could just drive her car down to the airport on Saturday night and leave it there for her to pick up when she lands on Sunday. Sure, no problem! We'll spend an hour and a half traipsing down to the airport to drop off your car. That sounds fun to me!

And throughout this conversation, I'm thinking, "Is this the thing that I am going to have to keep going through for the rest of my life?" Jeeesh.

Holy goosebumps, batman!

2008-11-11T13:37:00.003-05:00

I did not realize how cold it would be this morning when I got ready for the gym! I just threw on some shorts and a fleece and went on my way. Bad call. It was soooo cold outside and my poor little ol' car just can't muster the energy to get the heat blasting very fast. The gym is only 2 miles from my house, so there is definitely not enough time to get anything other than very cold air out of those vents! I had goosebumps the entire way to the gym. I think my leg hair grew at least half an inch. Really.

Having extra leg hair grow is pretty unfortunate for me because I am not a fan of the shaving. Also? I am not good at it at all. On average, I'd have to say it takes me about 20 minutes (and 2 pints of blood) to shave my legs. Perhaps the larger-than-average surface area of my legs is what causes the extreme duration of my shaving ventures. And maybe my thinner-than-average skin is the culprit behind all of those blasted knicks (is it knicks? or nicks? or nics? oh well . . .) and cuts. The Fiance used to joke, after I emerged from the bathroom covered in band-aids, that I just got in the shower and threw razor blades at my legs in hopes of getting some parts cleanly shaved.

You wanna know the worst part of my shaving? I once accidentally cut of some of my hair (on my head) while shaving my legs. Yup, you read that right - I lopped off a big hunk of hair once. I had my leg propped up and wasn't being as cautious as I usually am around sharp objects and I shaved up and through my hair. Had a lovely spot missing right from the front, near my face. It was realllly noticeable. And embarrassing. Sarcastic note: People do not look at you like you're crazy when you tell them you're missing a section of hair because you accidentally cut it off while shaving your legs.

Also?

2008-11-10T16:42:00.002-05:00

I seriously spent 20 minutes trying to find my way out of a parking deck today. This did not make me feel like an intelligent person. To correct this problem, I will drink plenty of wine tonight to kill off my stupid brain cells. Let me explain how this works - we have all heard of survival of the fittest, correct? The weakest animals fall to the back of pack and can be easily killed off by the attacker, blah, blah, blah. This theory also applies to brain cells when they are being attacked by alcohol.

(Feel free to use this theory any time you are searching for justification for drinking heavily.)

Pout much?

2008-11-10T16:33:00.003-05:00

I am starting to think that I am over-using the pout. I hardly even had to whine yesterday to get the fiance to take me out for lunch and shopping. Could it be possible to be too spoiled?

The Fiance has always told me that he has a hard time telling me no. I'd like to think that I don't take advantage of that knowledge, but I'm wondering if I am starting to subconsciously abuse my powers of cuteness, sweetness, and poutiness. (I liberally sprinkled that description of myself with sarcasm, but that's a story for another time.) Perhaps I will take it easy for a while and try to keep the pout in hiding. I'm eyeing a lovely Cole Haan purse, so I might need to save up the pout power until I need to pull it out to get this little gem:

Look out gym, here I come!

2008-11-07T13:47:00.003-05:00

I realized a couple of weeks ago that I really need to get back into the habit of going to the gym daily. What prompted this revelation? The fact that my favorite jeans that were loose last spring could not be pulled up past my upper thighs! Arrrggghhh!

So I've been really motivated this week and have gone to work out each day except Monday. I like to aim for an hour of cardio and 30 minutes of weight lifting each day, which takes up a pretty good hunk of time. I decided to wake up early in the morning and do 30 minutes before work and then go do the rest after work. Little note here: By "wake up" I mean, make the fiance physically remove me from bed so that I don't continue hitting the snooze button.

Anywho . . . I was at the gym this morning and one of the trainers saw me and asked if I had been in there last night as well. I told him that I had been there last night and that I was trying to step it up for my wedding in April. I did leave out the part about how I do not wish to look like a giant billowy cow in my wedding dress. He looked midly shocked and semi-amused and I went on my way. A few minutes later, he came over to the stairmaster I was on and handed me a coupon for a free hour long personal training session! How cool/nice is that?!?! I was going to ask for one of my parents to get my personal training sessions as a Christmas present, but now I've got a free headstart. I was so happy that the trainer was nice enough to offer this to me. What a great way to start a Friday!

My Fellow Atlantans

2008-11-06T11:55:00.004-05:00

For the love of Pete, please learn how to frickin' drive! I am begging you! My days are hard enough as it is; I do not need to deal with your incompetence while trying to navigate the clusterf#$% that is 75/85 during rush hour. I do not need my blood pressure to rise first thing in the morning when I encounter you on my way to work. I've always thought that flipping the bird is kind of like drinking - if you start doing it before early afternoon, people are going to think you have a problem.

Hey, little old lady driving a car that rivals the size of the QE2, you cannot see over that steering wheel! Go buy a booster seat or a reasonably sized car!

Hey, hipster in Little 5 Points, please spend more time practicing parallel parking and less time trying to get your hair to look less "mainstream". It will make everyone's lives a bit easier if you do not have to make eleventy billion attempts to back your bumper-sticker laden crapmobile into that very valuable parking spot.

Hey, overly cautious Asian lady, you do NOT have to slam on your brakes because someone in the lane next to you is braking to make a left turn.

Hey, Soccer mom, please do not continuously pump the brakes of your urban-assault vehicle (aka SUV that is entirely too large for a city with narrow streets and parking garages). Your flashing red brake lights are going to give me a seizure.

Hey, Porche jerk with over-inflated ego, please stop taking up two parking spaces so that your "baby" doesn't get scratched. I need to park somewhere too, you pompous ass.

Hey, couple from Clayton county, those are called "skyscrapers." We have those here in Atlanta. Just because you've never seen a tall building doesn't mean you have to drive under the speed limit so you can ohhh and ahhh and crane your neck to try to see the top of the building.

Hey, commuters from Cobb, we've all seen police before! You do not need to slow your vehicle to a crawl because you see flashing blue lights on the other side of the interstate.

Hey, nerds who got into a tiny fender-bender during rush hour, please do what the signs say and MOVE YOUR CARS TO THE SHOULDER.

Hey, jerk next to me who won't let me over even though I have my turn signal on, please stop speeding up and slowing down to match my speed. If you continue to cruise along next to me and prevent me from getting to the lane I need to be in, you will be on the receiving end of a not so nice hand gesture.

*End Rant*

I feel much better now. Do you?

Excuse me, your stupid is showing.

2008-11-05T10:33:00.002-05:00

I was driving to work this morning, flipping through the radio channels and stumbled across a talk show on which an announcer was saying that he feels sorry for people who were "duped" into voting for Obama based on race alone. Fair enough. I also believe that race should not be the sole factor considered when placing a vote for president. Then a very pleasant young lady (note the sarcasm) called in and began ranting about how angry she was with the announcers for calling her stupid for voting for Obama. This goes on for a minute or two as the announcer tries to explain to the woman that he does not think her vote was stupid, as long as it was placed based on her beliefs if Obama's policies, etc. Then this happens:

Woman: "Hell yeah, I voted for Obama. What, ya'll think I'ma vote for someone who was in jail? Last time I checked, you only go to jail for doing bad things and I don't want no bad person running this country."
Announcer on radio: "Uhh, ma'am are you refering to John McCain?"
Woman: "Yeah, I'm talking 'bout McCain. Man was in jail!"
Announcer: "Actually, McCain wasn't in jail; he was captured during a war and was held in a POW camp."
Woman: "POW camp, jail . . . sound like the same thing to me!"
Announcer: "Goodbye ma'am."
Click.

Wow. Just wow.

Rock the Vote?

2008-11-04T17:18:00.002-05:00

If I hear this one more time, I seriously might vomit. Is it bad to say that I am just so completely over this election? I really just want this all to be finished.

I told a coworker that I was considering not voting at all because I don't like either of the candidates. I might as well have just said that I was plotting to murder Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I did vote, but not for Barack or McCain, so I kind of feel like my vote was pointless. Some of you will say that no vote is ever pointless and I can definitely understand that viewpoint. The idea of "wealth re-distribution" and doing away with 401ks doesn't go over so well with me. I also don't agree with continuing the war and I am terrified by the idea of having Sarah Palin be next in line to the presidency. One of my coworkers asked me if I was really prepared to have another 4 years "like the last 4" when I told him I was thinking of voting for McCain. Yeah, I'd be just fine with that. Nothing happened to change my life in a bad way in the past four years (or the past 8, for that matter). And the guy who asked me this has done nothing but prosper in the past 4 years - got a new, higher paying job, bought a new car, bought a new house (with a nice, low mortgage rate - thanks, Bill Clinton! Seriously though, we bought a new home too and are benefiting from the mortgage rates), and his wife started working at a big law firm with a nice, fat salary. I could understand this person thinking the last 4 years were deplorable if he was in the service, but he's not. He has had nothing but health, peace, and prosperity. Just like most other Americans. I know that everyone has their views and supports politicians for different reasons, but I think we all need to be more mindful of how truly lucky we are to live in a FREE country.

Wanna know the main reason I'm so freakin' fed up with politics? The amount of money these people spend on political campaigns disgusts me. Obama has spent over 335 MILLION and McCain is at over 148 MILLION. That is soooo much money! I live in a city where I cannot get gas, go into a grocery store, or walk down the street without being asked for money. I do not have hundreds of millions of dollars (heck, I don't even have hundreds of dollars), but I always give a dollar here and there when I have cash on me. Couldn't these politicians (who claim to care so much for the American people) take just a smidgen of their campaign money and give to charity? When you look at combined campaign costs of over 480 million dollars, would it seriously do their campaigns that much damage if they donated a couple million? I don't think so. I thought of not voting as a way to show that I think campaign spending this high is deplorable. Ugh. I really can't express how angry this makes me. Also? If I see one more political commercial on tv, I am going to scream. For. Real. I really just want all of this to be finished.

Doggy Update

2008-11-04T14:39:00.002-05:00

I called a local pet store because a coworker told me they do a lot of work with local rescue groups and pet fosters. The woman I spoke to said that all of the rescues they work with are full and can't take in any more animals right now. Booooo! I asked her about my options and she said I could call animal control and explain that the dog was not being cared for and they might come to pick it up. I asked her what the chances were of the dog being put to sleep if animal control picked him up and she told me that since he is a chow mix, there was a 98% chance he would be euthanized promptly. Noooo! I couldn't bring myself to call because the chances of him being euthanized were so high. She also said I could try to find a foster on my own and then "steal" the dog and take him to the foster. I actually considered doing that! My fiance is an attorney, so he could help me if I got into trouble, right? I mean, he's a tax attorney, but I'm sure he'd be thrilled to take time out his day to defend me for stealing an animal. I left a post on a neighborhood message board asking for help or advice, and I hope that something will come of that. I left work feeling completely defeated and helpless and went home and cried.

The dog wasn't across the street when I came to work this morning, which makes me happy and sad at the same time. I'm happy because at least he isn't chained up in the direct sunlight near a busy street. But I'm sad because he has probably been taken to a home where he won't be cared for or played with. I do know that if I spot him again, I'm snatching him up! Poor little guy.

Animals matter too!

2008-11-03T12:47:00.003-05:00

Let me start this by saying that I am a huge animal lover. I especially love dogs - and I really love big, fluffy dogs. When I watch movies, I can deal with people being hurt of killed, but I freak out if I see a sad looking animal. Milo and Otis is my least favorite movie of all time because it makes me sad that the animals get lost in the beginning. And don't get me started on Homeward Bound. See, I just teared up even thinking about that movie! Bottom line: I love animals and have a huuuuuuge soft spot in my heart for them. Unless they're slimy. Then I don't really care. Moving on . . .

I was on my way to the office on Friday and was about to walk in the door when a huge, fluffy black dog bounded up to me. Most people would be scared by this, but not me! I dropped my bags and got down on my knees to hug the cute guy. He was really sweet and happy! His owner comes over and my guess is that the guy is either homeless or does a lot of drugs . . . or both. That in itself upsets me. The guy proceeds to explain that he is "moving to Philly" (suuuure you are) and can't take the dog with him and needs to find him a home. If I didn't live in an apartment and leave home at 8:30 am and get back at 8:00 pm each day, I would totally have a dog. However, I realize that I could not properly care for a dog because of the amount of time I spend away from home (and the fact that I don't have a yard), so I say I can't take him. This makes me even more sad. Some of my coworkers arrive around this time and the guy asks each of them if they want the dog. Of course, they all say no for varying reasons. Sad start to a Friday for me.

Fast forward to Monday. I arrive at work and am walking in the door and hear barking. I look around and notice that across the street, in an empty lot, cute teddy bear dog is CHAINED TO A FENCE IN THE DIRECT SUNLIGHT AND HAS NO FOOD OR WATER. I promptly burst into tears and go ransack my office to try to find something to use to give him some water. No dice. I call my fiance and ask him if there is annnnnny possible way we could have a dog. No dice. I ask everyone in my office if they want the dog. No dice. I spend the next 30 minutes crying at my desk because I am so upset about this dog. Fast forward again to lunch time. He's still out there. One of the girls I work with said she will call a friend at a no-kill shelter to come get the dog if he's still there at 5. I guess that's something.

What I don't understand is why someone who obviously does not have the means to properly care for a dog would get said dog in the first place. It makes NO sense to me whatsoever. I mean, dude, you can barely afford to clothe yourself, so what makes you think you should have a dog? Why do people get dogs if they're not going to take care of them? What good does it do you to have a pet if you're only going to leave it on a chain in your backyard? I know there are good pet owners out there, but why are there so many bad pet owners? It doesn't make sense and it makes me sad. Really sad.

I'm going to go check on the dog again.

Again?!

2008-10-30T15:05:00.002-04:00

Soooo, I had another customer skip a training session this morning. Everything started out well and she even emailed me to confirm (love that!). I called this morning to get started and her assistant let me know that she was in a meeting. Huh. How about that. Apparently the meeting was something that just "popped up" and shouldn't "take more than 30 minutes." In what kind of professional world is it ok to show up for meeting 30 minutes late? Or, to ask the person running the meeting to delay their day for 30 minutes to wait on you? Not in my world. Sorry dear, my time is just as valuable as yours. What is wrong with people this week? Ugh. I reallllly need it to be Friday.

Here's a survey I snatched from another blog:
Worst Feeling in the World: knowing that you did something wrong and waiting for the backlash from it to start
Favorite Sound: I like the way my cat purrs and I love the way the wind sounds at the beach
Favorite Smells: The Fiance after he finishes getting ready in the morning
Favorite Book: Marley and Me - go read it!
Favorite Magazine: I'm ashamed to admit it, but I do enjoy Us Weekly.
Favorite Board Game: I don't play many of these, so I'll go with Cranium
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: this really depends on my mood and the season. I love strawberry in the summer time and chocolate chip cookie dough in the winter
Favorite Place to Relax: On a beach. Any beach. Seriously doesn't matter. I just need a beach. Like, right now.
Last Movie You Saw in a Theatre: The Dark Knight. Can we say awesome?
Morning Person or Night Owl: I can do either
What’s Under Your Bed: nothing. The fiance is a neat freak.
Favorite Sports to Watch: college football!
If you could dye your hair any color…: I like it just the way it is, thankyouverymuch
Do you eat the stems on the broccoli?: I sure do
Finish this statement: “If I had the time I would spend more time at the gym.”
Favorite Drink: I love some good white wine. Just no chardonnay, please.
What was your first car?: Ohhh, a 92 Oldsmobile. That thing was a behemoth.
Storms – Cool or Scary?: I like them as long as I'm not alone
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: No, but I do still have bunch.
Do you drive fast?: Yes, but I'm trying to work on that. My friends are scared to ride with me.
Future Children's Names: I don't like thinking about this cause I'm not sure about the whole "children" thing just yet
Favorite Fast Food Place: Arby's is up there for me.

Bermuda, Jamaica . . .

2008-10-29T15:07:00.002-04:00

Well, we aren't going to either of those places, but we are going to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon! Yippee! Booked it last night after months (seriously) of research. I got so uptight about having the perfect place to stay that I spend untold hours on tripadvisor.com (check it out) reading every review imaginable about every all-inclusive resort from Cuba (wish we could) to Brazil (need to work on the rear view before I fit in on those beaches). The place we're going is adults-only, which suits me just fine. Lover boy likes kids, but I don't tolerate them so well, so an adults-only place is perfect. It's also all-inclusive, which is another plus for us because we kinda like the sauce. We're not alcoholics or anything - we just like to booze it up every now and again and we both have a pretty high tolerance, so paying individually for drinks would break our bank. I have a good friend who is not *ahem* well-traveled and she freaked out when I told her that we're going to the DR. "Oh my God, I heard the people there like to kidnap Americans or something. You shouldn't go." Umm, thanks for the advice friend who has never been on an airplane. Sweetie, Americans get kidnapped in AMERICA too, so I'm pretty sure I'm ok with taking my chances in a beautiful, tropical location where I can lounge on a beach and have frozen drinks brought to me. We did run into a semi-snag regarding flights. We're getting married in a place that is not close to an airport and flights to the DR leave pretty early in the morning. So if we wanted to leave for the honeymoon the day after our wedding, we'd have to get up at 0'dark thirty to make it to the airport on time. Not what I want to do after a late night reception! So we're going to take our time heading home the day after the wedding and we'll have a night at home and will leave the next day. I am worried that it will be a let down to go from getting married one night to spending the next night at home, but it's better than being exhausted, right? Right!

Math. It's not that hard.

2008-10-28T10:32:00.003-04:00

Actually, it is. I hate math. Despise it. Seriously, I have nightmares about my high school calculus class that I took SIX years ago.

However, when I tell a client that I will call her for a review at 2:00 pm ET and then tell her later that I will call her for an actual training at 10:00 am ET, you'd think the dummy would figure out that I am basing my times on EASTERN TIME. Yes dear, I realize that you are in Colorado, but I am not, so those little "ET" thingies that I'm typing in my emails are not meant to refer to a little green alien, but rather to what time I will call you. So please figure it out. If you're in "MT" land and I'm in "ET" land, you're going to need to do a little bit of simple math and subtract 2 from whatever time I give you. Answer your phone when I call. Don't make me reschedule and completely throw off my day. Don't make me sit here for 20 minutes waiting for you to join our meeting. Also? Don't be a jerk when you respond to my very nice email about going out of my way to reschedule for you. I'm the one spending an hour and a half of my very important time (that could be used to blog) to show you how to work on a very simple piece of technology.

And I realize that I can be pretty stubborn about this, but come on, I'm on the east coast, so people should conform to my standards. I shouldn't be the one who has to switch around times to avoid confusing crazy Colorado hippies/granola eaters. People should change to accomodate me, right? Right.

Why can't we have 3-day weekends?

2008-10-27T17:32:00.002-04:00

Our weekend went really well, but I definitely didn't feel like working today. So many people came to our party and the In-Laws even behaved themselves! One of the Old People's friends brought some Jaeger along, which led to some seriously interesting times. I'm pretty sure no one made a complete ass out of themselves. Although, if anyone was going to do it, it would probably be me. I always feel better after visting my parents - we eat healthy food, hike a lot, get plenty of sleep, spend time outdoors, and go to church. It sounds lame, I know, but I always have a blast there. I guess the health factor is somewhat off-set by the boozing, but that's just the way my family does things. I'm consistently amazed by how hospitable my mom is and wonder if I make people feel just as comfortable in my home. I probably have a way to go before I can entertain guests as well as she can, but she's got a few (cough - twenty five - cough) years on me. I found some cool things at Whole Foods called "Lucky Bamboo" so I took her a bamboo (is that the proper term? It sounds ugly to refer to it as a stick, so I'm just gonna call it a bamboo) for each member of our family and gave that to her as a thank-you for having a party for us. If you're looking for a thoughtful gift, run over to Whole Foods and grab some bamboo, a vase, and some river rocks - bam! All set! We're all Thank You note sticklers (and, really, everyone should be) so I've got some letter writing to do tonight. Any suggestions for ways to avoid writing the same thing over and over again, send 'em my way!

PAR-TAAAAY!

2008-10-24T13:43:00.002-04:00

The fiance and I are heading up to my parents' house in the mountains of can't-tell-you-where for an engagement party. It's technically my mom and step-dad, but he's kinda been more of a dad to me than my real dad, so I refer to he and mom as my parents. Or "The Old People." They really love that my siblings (yeah, I also consider my step-siblings to be true siblings) and I call them that.

I looooove going to visit my parents - they are so cool and fun and totally get me. Seriously, my parents are more fun than most of my friends. We arrive and the first thing my mom says to me is always, "Are you ready for a glass of wine?" Duh. I am always ready for a glass of wine. Even now, at 1:45 in the afternoon. I'm not kidding.

Anywho, we always get to go hiking and see pretty mountains and the leaves there at this time of year are stunning. And it's COLD, which I love. Is there anything better than getting to wear cuddly sweaters and cute beanies and scarfs? The correct answer is: NO. The siblings tend to get a bit riled up (read: drunk) when we're all together and we have a blast joking around and making fun of people. I also loooooove my parents' dog - he is seriously the cutest thing ever. He's like a giant 70-pound teddy bear and he likes to cuddle.

It should be a good weekend, with the exception of the presence of the future in-laws, aka, The Guilt Tripper and Senor Grumpy Pants. If you knew them, you would definitely agree with those nicknames. Luckily there will be enough people around for me to talk to so I won't have to spend much time dealing with their inability to entertain themselves or make conversation. Woohoo!

The only downside - I have to drive cause the fiance has to do work. Yuck. I am not so much a fan of the driving - especially in the dark, cause I can't really see so well. Also, driving makes me super sleepy. I'm like a 1 year old in that respect; put me in a car and I will be asleep within 10 minutes. I hope I don't forget to "accidentally" put my license back in my wallet. (Long story about why it's not there to begin with.)

All in all, the weekend should be a blast. I'm sure I'll have some excellent stories about The Guilt Tripper's antics on Monday.

Welcome to ME

2008-10-23T10:33:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while and finally decided to bite the bullet. I was reading other blogs and stumbled across someone who used blogging as a way of pulling herself out of a funk after moving to a new city. Well, I get into a funk sometimes, so why not try this to get out of it? I also discovered that it's ok to remain anonymous, so I'm gonna take that route. I work in the technology industry, so if one of my customers (who I will probably complain about a LOT) stumbled across my ranting, I could get into some serious hot water.

Here are some things you should know about me:
1. I was raised in the South, but don't consider myself a true Southerner. I mean, I don't even like sweet tea and I don't say "Ya'll." In fact, I cringed just typing that word.
2. I am engaged to the most thoughtful guy I've ever met. He also happens to be my best friend, so it's pretty cool that he likes me enough (read: actually puts up with me) to want to marry me. I'll probably talk about him a good bit too and he will also remain anonymous.
3. I'm not so much a fan of the fiance's family. Actually, I'll be honest here - his mom drives me out of my frackin' mind! Grrrr. The future in-laws will also remain anonymous. But it's not like the guilt-tripper (future mother-in-law) could figure out how to use a computer and find this, but that's an entirely different issue.
4. I love football and animals and candy and wine.
5. I'm not really a typical girl. I don't like to shop or wear dresses (I seriously own TWO) or put on makeup. Ruffles and the color pink make me gag. My drink of choice is a nice, cold beer.
6. I don't embarass easily and I'm not really concerned with what other people think of me.
7. I'm really loud and a little wild sometimes.
8. I am the most loyal friend you could ask for.
9. I seriously love my job. Winning the lottery wouldn't be so bad, but until that happens, I'm thrilled to be where I am.
10. I'm a pretty happy person and I love to laugh and spend time with the people I love. I guess I'm pretty normal in that respect. : )

So, this is me - for now. Remember that I'm new to this and please don't make fun of my loser-ish layout. Baby steps. If anyone has suggestions for how to get this thing going, just let me know!